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Heart Attacks

by Random Orbits

It's not Murphy's Law, and Its not Karma. It's not learning from all our past mistakes The emotions we hide and the ones that we fake I never saw how anyone could be so in love with you what do I know of Love? I've spent more nights alone that you will ever know So who am I to judge? and I don't know why we do this to ourselves Repeating our mistakes, expecting different outcomes we're not insane, I think we're just to hopefull or scared. You've taught me that I shut people out because I'm embarrassed of my own self doubt how do you go on through so much pain knowing your problems wont go away it takes strength I don't know or weakness I'll never show
I can't fall asleep I just lay here freaking out until I pass out or just go numb Cuz these debts keep piling up it makes me want to throw up just thinking of this god damn routine and how hard it is to break, my biggest mistake how many months how many years will pay this debt off? I dream of faking my own death, getting the fuck out of here a place like Montana, where the sky is big and clear they say that you can't run from you're problems but if they want me they can come and find cuz I'm getting the fuck out of here.
Fuck Fire 03:03
You can't burn down an idea a dream or inspriation so let the fire blaze and let this loss not be our end whats yet to be created will be my restoration let the rythm lead each step until we find our way thousands of shouting voices but I can only hear one whispering in my ear telling me that I'm the only one who knows whats best for me and don't just give up when all fingers are pointing in different directions sent spinning in ciricles with the best of intentions I must see through the bullshit and follow my head with eyes so far down the road tripping in holes you already know looking back now just feels so wrong must use my head before its fucking gone and still that voice rings in my head anticipating what comes next with no remorse for what comes after getting caught up in the world wont make the world spin faster
This hole isn't so deep,I think I can get out I know that I let you down, but I could really use you're help and if we make it out of here alive I swear to God I'll kill that bastard or at least I'll try and if my arms aren't met by yours at least I wont fucking die alone I can't really ask for more I'm in over my head but hey at least we're eye to eye Theres something funny about you can't deny now all that I can do is smile close my eyes await the trial so whats it gonna be?
I've gone astray in this sea of constant doubt the loss of the map sent me down a different route when I look to the stars to find my way home I find an absence of passion where ever I roam and as the waves crash down as I row to the shore I've got this lingering question why I try anymore when it so easy to close my eyes and fall asleep at the bottom of the ocean I'll find the answers that I seek like why my heart is so tired, my lungs are too weak and these negative words are all that I can speak theres just no good reason and its tearing me apart I'm so sick of searching and fucking tired of new starts I think I see land off in the distance I hope its not just in my head Maybe its somewhere new and different Maybe I'll just wake up in my bed so sad that none of this was real so lucid I can almost feel the waves on my face Please understand why this dream is so beautiful its enough for me to dive right in I'll wake every day to chase you forever you''re my horizon
Its hard to grasp that love was all we ever needed because we all wanted so much more for all of us I use to have so many friends but now I count them on one hand and hold them tight with the other I’m not sure if my words could fix our problems only time and distance matter now not our drifting Haunted dreams and memories leave me wondering haunted dreams and memories could things be different? Haunted dreams of you and me and I’m so damn sorry but this music is all I love Standing at this crossroad and each directions looking bleak there is no money in the path I seek but still the city calls to me to leave these hills behind to reinvent and try to find some new way to redefine how I’ve spend the last 4 years of my life


released June 12, 2012

Random Orbits


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